As I Lie Dying



The trees shivering,
The skies weeping,
The steady thump of falling mortars,
Sounds dull to my ears.
Shadows bending silently,
Towards the spot in which I lie,
Tiredness engulfs me,
Like the diminishing glow of sunset,
Silhouetting the naked trees.
Death beckons me.


As if in a dream,
My mind now playing games with me,
Ceaselessly trying to remember,
The sweet remembered melodies,
Soft ringing; of my beloved’s voice.
With a deafening thud the shell lands;
Exploding: the world echoes its way in, and,
I am left to be aware of what was before me: warzone,
Ever so slowly ignoring the ache snaking through me in whispers,
Pick up my weapon, I fire again.


My comrade lies still,
As I glance at this hands; shape of those fingers,
Hands that once held his son: lie lifeless now,
A moment of infinity enters.
Memories of happier days flash across my mind: like a dream,
I had almost forgotten how it had begun.
Now I lie here in the battlefield; Equally suffering;
Sharpnels ripping me apart,
Seeing the shooting star fall like ash from a charcoal sky,
Wondering why we’re all stuck in it?


The night growing colder still,
Wraps its icy fingers around my heart.
Numbness spreads; feeling nothing but a dull ache.
A sense of betrayal creeps in.
What my mind has tried so hard to erase,
Who do I lay down my life for?
For those indulging in red tapism?
For those who refuse to give me my dues
While I was alive?
Their ideologies and excuses don’t hurt me anymore.


As I die lonely today,
Abandoned by the Govenment and bureaucracy; that rejoices today,
And continues to feed the lies
to the nation it leads;
That a soldier doesn’t need money to go by…
I cannot pin the shiver that runs across my skin.
Because when they don’t care enough,
While I die protecting them…
What will they care about my world: my family,
That I have left behind…!!!


This poem about the anguish a soldier is going through fighting at the borders.
How betrayed and let down he feels as the Indian Government refuses to give the dues to the Armed Forces in the 7th Pay Commission.
Today the 1st of September 2016, the whole nation gets its 7CPC dues except for the Armed Forces, as the govt lacks the time and inclination to solve the anomalies in it.


© All Rights Reserved.
©Ranjeeta Nath Ghai,  atrangizindagieksafar, 2016.

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Below is my first published Poetry Book “Mann ki Aarzoo,” which is available on Notion Press, Amazon, Bookadda, Infibeam and Kindle.


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image courtesy google


9 thoughts on “As I Lie Dying

  1. It’s beautiful.. .and I wish there was another button that could say ” swelled up with pride”.Kudos to your perseverance wherever you venture.
    With much much much love….always

    Liked by 1 person

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