Sermons. Sermons and more sermons!
And that’s how we all grow up into adults. We all have heard them so many times that now its impossible to remember the times they have been repeated.
“When we were your age we used to get only an aana* and that would last us a month…”
Today when I see the inflation going up and the cost of living rising simultaneously I remember these lines that my father often loved to repeat when we were small.
These lines were normally delivered as sermons admonishing us for our so-called extravagant behaviour. “You’ll realize the worth of money when you earn it…” Do these lines sound familiar? I guess so… We all have heard it at some point in our lives. And have oft used it on our kids too.
There is a sense of nostalgia accompanied by frustration at the rising prices and the expenses made. Frustration at being taxed for everything in spite of your tax being deducted from source. And nostalgia steps in when you start sounding like your mom and dad repeating the same sermons you heard… And by now you are pretty sure that the legacy of sermons would be carried on.
We often use common predictable dialogues in our lives which our children and students just know will be delivered when they kick up some dust… being a mentor and also a mom I have compiled a few phrases that I could remember using and that have been used on me and I’m sure these would be used on future generations to come also…;-)
Some common classroom sermons…
“Stop shouting! This is a classroom, not a fish market!”
“If you want to talk, please get out of the class and talk!”
“Don’t ask me question to which you know the answer will be a sure NO”
“Don’t try to ‘over smart’ me! Yes, you! I’m talking to you only. Don’t try and hide behind the others!”
“You! Why are you laughing? Stand up and tell us all about your joke. Let us also laugh!”
“Do you think teachers are fools?”
“Why do you come to school when you don’t want to study?”
“Keep quiet during attendance or else I will put absent mark!”
“Sit properly. This is a classroom, not your living room!”
“Speak louder. Didn’t you have breakfast?”
“If only you used your talents in studies also!”
Some common mommy sermons…..
“I told you so”
“Don’t look at me with those eyes.”
“Stop making that face, it’ll freeze that way.”
“If you want to act like a child, I’ll treat you like one.”
“I told you so…”
“One day you’ll thank me.”
“Don’t eat seeds. A tree will grow out of your stomach”
“Because I said so, that’s why!”
“As long as you’re under my roof, you live by my rules.”
“God gave you a brain, use it.”
“Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.”
“If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”
“Your room looks like a cyclone ran through it.”
“Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall.”
“Where are your manners — were you raised by wolves?”
“I’m not asking, I’m telling.”
“When you have kids, I hope they’re just like you.”
“Where were you when God was giving brains?”
“Don’t you use that tone with me! Lower your eyes and your voice!”
“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“You better wipe that look off your face.”
“Don’t make me tell you again to come back home on time. You won’t like the consequences.”
“If only you could remember your lessons as well as you remember those movie songs!”
Did it bring a smile to your lips…?
The knowing smiles and sniggers I get from my son/daughter/students confirm the fact that they very well know what’s going to come next… and I’m quite sure they’ll be betting behind my back on the same. But somehow I don’t find that offensive…maybe because it brings back my childhood memories to the fore… when we used to bet with each other on the dialogues that we will be getting to hear in the given circumstances…
In middle school giving pet code names to teachers would be our first agenda… but that’s another story to be discussed some other time. Do let me know what you think of this and which ones have been your favourite sermons.
*An anna was a currency unit formerly used in India and Pakistan, equal to 1/16 rupee.
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