To be fine and happy
That lies and deceit don’t bother me anymore
That I don’t feel sad, that nothing hurts me anymore.
That I didn’t notice your silence
That I don’t feel bad
That you are forever busy and me feeling alone…
That the written word
Should help me heal
While I slowly strip my walls that are already empty and stranded.
That stating what I feel;
Expressing my feelings; exposing my pain;
Means nothing. It’s just ink splashed on paper.
In a world where feelings are condemned; tears are signs of weakness
Typing my soul apart; reading scribbles;
Random rants can be confusing. It’s just better to pretend.
In the end…
That I’m not pretending;
Lying to myself trying to figure out how to end my pain…
…just once again. I’ll pretend.
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